So I’m surrounded by people, I’m in a household full of people.. I still often feel very alone.. I don’t feel like I have anyone I can be completely open and honest with; there’s no one that would even understand me anyways.. Countless times I type out a text expressing an emotion I’m feeling, hoping that by reaching out I’ll find someone of a like mind, only to turn around and delete the whole thing.. I wish I could pour out my thoughts, empty my soul of these burdens, but there’s no one to share it with.. Those around me carry enough of their own burdens, they don’t need mine heaped upon them, too.. I wouldn’t do that to them.. I feel most alone during the day, when the house is a buzz, full of action.. At this time I feel the most frustration.. So many people at arm’s length, carrying their own heavy burdens.. Sleep is my only reprieve.. I have so much to say, so much to express, no one to listen.. Deep emotions that I’d like to connect with someone through understanding.. I’m not looking for “the love of my life” or “the one”, just a friend that I can have deep conversations with.. But I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems, I can’t do that.. So there’s no hope of finding anyone to share my sorrows.. There’s never hope, it’s foolish and naive to have hope.. A realistic viewpoint is the only way to keep from getting hurt or being disappointed.. I know it can’t be avoided completely, that’s life, it seeks you out.. But at least I can try to avoid it.. I have to shelter and protect myself somehow.. I have to guard what’s left of my heart, what’s left of my soul..