Sometimes my thoughts are bouncing around in my head, faster than I can even think straight; jumbled little bits of barely coherent notions being strung together through the fog, I have trouble differentiating my impact vs my influence.. Do I negatively impact those around me, burdening them with my needs and requests and darkness? Or do I influence them, making them feel joy and happiness and light? Causing pain or discomfort or making someone feel anything but peace drives me to keep quiet, pushing all of my problems down further, stamping them into the ground.. I tiptoe around people, feeling like I’m walking on eggshells all the time, because I fear hurting them.. I crave their acceptance more than I should, sensitive to any little inflection, any tone, or any indication that I’ve upset them.. I understand that I need to be more myself and “let loose” a little, but I’m so afraid of rejection that I sacrifice making myself feel comfortable and calm just to avoid confrontation.. I’m never my top priority.. I don’t feel worthy of being anyone’s concern, main or otherwise.. I feel unworthy of people’s time and energy.. I need to work on understanding that those around me choose to do so, even family, who could kick me to the curb at any time, and tell me to deal with my life alone.. I neglect my needs (and wants) for what I feel is “the greater good”.. But that’s not working out so well….