Quite the conundrum..

So, I piss and moan and bitch and complain about not having anyone to talk to, how there’s no one to commiserate with… But I keep myself closed off, knowing that everyone has enough on their plates that they have to deal with, they don’t need me dumping my problems on them, too..  Maybe I made it this way, maybe it’s just circumstances, but I don’t feel like I have anyone to connect with in a deeply profound way..  They all have other relationships that trump mine, which is how life goes..  I’m not suggesting I should be anyone’s number one..  I used to think I couldn’t assert myself and couldn’t push for some attention and care, but I realize that’s not true..  I’m always nagging people, demanding time be spent thinking of me..  I spend so much time in introspection that I fail to be compassionate towards other people or to spend time tending to their needs instead of thinking of my own..  I’m mopey and ridiculous and laughable..  My problems are just so stupid when said out loud..  I’m like a child in the things that bother me – a psychotic child..  I’m sure people would laugh at me and think my issues are messed up and that the things I see as problems are very juvenile..  It’s all about perspective..  What I deem disturbing is ludicrous to someone else..  I’m not even trivializing my problems; you can’t reduce down what’s already miniscule to begin with…