I sometimes feel like people will hear me saying how much worse off I am mentally/ psychologically than they are.. I don’t feel like I over-compare myself, but in life there’s always some extent of comparison.. With that said, I have recently been doing very poorly.. I’ve been to the psychologist twice in a week and a half.. He changed my meds both times, so now I’m on 6 separate medications for my mental illnesses.. I take that back, I’m on 7.. Holy shit, that’s a lot.. 🙁 And that’s in addition to all the other meds I take for various other illnesses.. I feel like my body is rebelling against me.. I’d be happy to be taking zero medications.. But that hasn’t been my reality for a very long time.. Random thought : it was nice, though very awkward, that the psychiatrist gave me a side hug as I left the appt.. He genuinely seemed at least a little concerned.. And that was nice, I never feel like any of my drs care.. Not that they’re neglectful in any way, but that I’m just a patient to them.. I don’t know, I was probably just reading into it.. I tend to misread people sometimes..
I still, by choice, don’t really talk to anyone. . I’m trying to make more appts to see the counselor at advantage, but it’s so hard to get in, she’s always booked so far out.. Ah, well.. I suppose I’ll survive, though this depression is pretty bad right now.. And I’m so freaking drowsy! Just about any time I sit down I have trouble.. My eyes can’t stay open and my head lolls to the side.. I end up in almost a half awake/ half asleep state.. I’m hoping that I’ll get used to my meds soon..