Life just keeps on sucking…

So I know that to people this would seem like a trivial matter, but to me it struck a much deeper cord and has affected me in a bad way..  So within the last week and a half all of the bras that I have that fit me comfortably well enough to wear broke in some form or fashion (underwire poking out / underwire breaking in two) and it has forced me to purchase replacement bras..  This morning I went bra shopping, which I HATE doing because it consists of trying things on and that always depresses me..  But I get there and they measure me and I tell them they measured wrong, I’m not that big..  Another woman comes over and she measures me, too, telling me that I’m wearing my bra wrong (who knew that could happen?) and that the first chick’s measurement of me was correct..  Then she tells me they sell bras in that size but don’t carry them in the store..  My heart drops, I’m too fat for the fat women’s store to carry bras big enough..  That’s bad..  So the lady suggests trying on the largest size they carry in store and using an extender..  So I do that, I try on numerous bras, and I decide on a couple to buy with the extenders..  I’m as happy with them as I expected, they’re bras, but I’m super depressed about learning I had gotten so much bigger since the last time I bought bras..  Evidently I just keep on getting bigger and bigger, growing larger and larger..  Soon I’ll be too big to buy any clothes..  I already order my clothes online and have them shipped..  As though I didn’t have enough issues with my body image and enough self esteem issues already!  I should just become a hermit and never leave the house..   That way nobody would have to look at me..   -sigh-  I feel absolutely horrible..  It’s days like these that make me want to hurt myself, punish myself for being so gross..

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